For anonymity purposes, I will be referring to the person I interviewed as Rose.

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During my 20 years of life, I have had my fair share of school and athletic-related stress. From meeting athletic expectations to procrastinating school work, I have seen how life can be stressful, overwhelming, and mentally draining. The challenges that come with stress and burnout can affect your day-to-day life, and it's sometimes unclear how to deal with them. While schoolwork and athletic burnout are stressors I've had to deal with consistently. I am not as versed in workplace burnout and how that can affect someone in a different stage of life. 

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I recently talked with Rose, an online healthcare professional who works from home. Working from home adds a different level to the stress and burnout you would get from a typical office job, so I was interested to hear the ways it affects Rose on a day-to-day basis. Rose has previously worked as a nurse in high-profile hospitals on the West Coast as well as the Northeast. Despite previously working in some of these high-stress environments, Rose told me that at her current job working for an online startup, she has felt the effects of stress and burnout more than she ever has in the past. She went on to say,

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 "Whats interesting is that, I don't think I realize it as much as people around me realize it, and are pointing it out to me…maybe I think im fine, I think im handling everything fine but my husband will be like, you look pale, and maybe im a little short in my responses to him when normally im really patient”.

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This caught me off guard. I hadn't thought about being stressed without fully realizing how stressed you are. In my experience, I am usually more aware of my own stress than I would like, and I overanalyze it. Hearing how stress affected her differently, I was curious to learn more about her situation. We continued talking about how people around her noticing that she doesn't seem ok has made her realize that she hasn't been eating as much, getting outside, or exercising at all.

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“Normally im in the zone”,

Rose said when referring to why It usually takes others pointing out her physical signs of stress for her to realize it's affecting her. She talked about how she is very involved with her job, working 12 hours a day and sometimes only talking about work-related topics to the people around her. At times she is just completely zoned in on what she has to complete that day, and she doesn't realize she is burnt out and stressed. As she told me this, I wondered if working from home has any effect on how the stress is showing up in her life. With the stress I have dealt with, I am usually able to separate it from my personal life. After I am done with school, I can come home and destress, but by working from home you are constantly living in your office, and I wondered if this lack of separation between stress and home life was a reason Rose wasn't always aware of her stress levels. As we continued our conversation, we started to talk more about specific ways in which her work days become overwhelming, and when she is pushed to notice it herself.

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“I think just on those days that everybody is asking for something and everybody needs something right away…In the startup environment that happens a lot, and I have a problem because I want to please everybody so I dont say no…so then I take on way too much and I never prioritize myself”

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I related to Roses's statement. It is often in my own life that I find myself prioritizing others and putting my own feelings to the side. Doing this has affected my relationships with people in school, athletics, and my personal life. With how much I related to Rose's statement, I could see how taking on overwhelming amounts of work seemed to be the main source of her stress.

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“I am doing all this work but my brain is like, how am I going to get all this done”  

After hearing how much stress this was causing her, I asked Rose if she ever regretted taking on so many responsibilities, and if she wished he could just say no. 

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“ Yes and no, because I like the fact that everybody at the company knows that they can rely on me and I like the fact that they consider me one of there best employees… I feel like I have a lot of job security” 

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Rose continued to talk about how although there is a lot of stress associated to the work she is taking on, she is benefiting in her career from completing the work and being seen by her company as extremely reliable. This made me rethink how I approach my stress, as I have always thought of it as fully negative. While it would be nice to live a completely stress-free life, that is unrealistic. Everyone has some sort of goal, and usually attaining that goal comes with some stress and hard work. Rose's thoughts made me think about how it's important to manage stress sustainably, but it's not realistic to try and eliminate it, especially if you have goals in life. Rose then brought up some more recent revelations about how she is learning to manage this stress.

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“ What I have been starting to do that has helped me a little bit is that I dont say no…I say, I cant get to that today, but I can do that for you as long as you ok with me getting that to you by… end of week” 

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This strategy resonated with me as letting people down is very difficult for me to do. Finding a way to not let people down, but still create a less stress-filled environment for yourself that is sustainable in the long run struck me as a great step in the right direction for Rose in learning to manage her stress. Hearing that Rose decided to make these changes in her work life in an attempt to mitigate the stress that comes with working for a startup, I asked if she has seen a positive impact on her physical and mental health since she implemented this new strategy.

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“ Not yet because I feel like im just starting to do that, but I also think that I am going to start carving out time to exercise again because thats a big part of who I am and I just have not” 

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Hearing that Rose has not yet seen any progress in her implementation of these stress-reducing techniques, I felt an odd sense of comfort. It is often I feel when i make a change in my life, everything should automatically fall into place and be just as I imagined. Rose reminded me with her statement that progress is not something that happens overnight, and it's important to stick with the positive changes I make in my life, even if I don't see them working immediately. As our conversation came to a close, Rose was optimistic about the impact some of the strategies she is starting to implement will have on her future relationship with workplace stress. Although Rose hasen't yet seen a huge impact from the ways she is attempting to deal with the stress, she has a plan in place and is working with herself and others around her to find the best way to manage stress in her life. 

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What I took away from our conversation was that you dont always fully realize when you are stressed, and the effects the stress is having on your life. Our conversation made me think about how sometimes it's necessary to take a step back and prioritize yourself, especially when you have high expectations for your performance like Rose. Although sometimes for Rose, and definitely for me, taking a step back or taking on less of a workload feels like its jeopardizing people's respect for you, or your goals in your workplace, it is important to find a workload that is sustainable and not overwhelming.

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